I DID THE MATH: MOST MEN CANNOT AFFORD A TRADITIONAL WIFE

Here is what those services actually cost on the open market:

• Cooking 3 meals a day - (Private chef|R23,500 pm)

• Cleaning, laundry, dishes - (Domestic worker|R5,000 pm)

• Emotional support & listening - (Therapist|~R10,000 pm)

• Scheduling & life management - (Personal assistant|~R12,000 pm)

• Event & family planning - (Event planner|~R8,000 pm

Total per year ~ R720,000

And that is before the R120,000 bonus (per child) that IVF treatment alone would cost if she were not providing that service as part of the arrangement.

Men who benefit from hundreds of thousands of rands worth of unpaid labour every year are the same men who react with outrage at the suggestion that women deserve financial compensation. The same men who call women gold diggers while quietly consuming services they could never actually afford to pay.

If women stopped giving their labour away for free, most men would need a second income just to replace what they currently take for granted.

The reason none of this gets recognised is precisely because no invoice ever arrives. When something costs nothing, it is treated as worth nothing. That is not an accident. And it works extremely well for the people who benefit from it.

The moment you put a number on what a traditional wife actually contributes, the conversation changes completely. Suddenly "she doesn't even work" becomes very hard to say with a straight face.

Disclaimer:

I am not your therapist, attorney, or doctor. I cannot diagnose you, represent you, prescribe anything, or replace professional support. What I can offer in good faith is a thoughtful perspective from someone who understands the social, cultural, and political landscape most of us are navigating in South Africa, without judgment, without an agenda, and without compensation.